New Mexico AIDS InfoNet Fact
Sheet Number 203
HIV-POSITIVE
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PrintWhen you test positive for HIV, it can be difficult to know who
to tell about it, and how to tell them.
Telling others can be good because:
- You can get love and support to help you deal with your health.
- You can keep your close friends and loved ones informed about
issues that are important to you.
- You don’t have to hide your HIV status.
- You can get the most appropriate health care.
- You can reduce the chances of transmitting the disease to
others.
Telling others may be bad because:
- Others may find it hard to accept your health status.
- Some people might discriminate against you because of your
HIV.
- You may be rejected in social or dating situations.
You don’t have to tell everybody. Take your time to
decide who to tell and how you will approach them. Be sure you’re
ready. Remember, once you tell someone, they won’t forget you
are HIV-positive.
Here are some things to think about when you’re considering telling
someone that you’re HIV-positive:
- Know why you want to tell them. What do you want from
them?
- Anticipate their reaction. What’s the best you could
hope for? The worst you might have to deal with?
- Prepare yourself. Inform yourself about HIV disease.
You may want to leave articles or a hotline phone number for
the person you tell.
- Get support. Talk it over with someone you trust,
and come up with a plan.
- Accept the reaction. You can’t control how others
will deal with your news.
People You May Have Exposed to HIV: It can be
very difficult to disclose your status to sexual partners or people
you shared needles with. However, it is very important that they
know so they can decide to get tested and, if they test positive,
get the health care they need. The Department of Health can tell
people you might have exposed, without using your name.
Employers: You may want to tell your employer
if your HIV illness or treatments interfere with your job performance.
Get a letter from your doctor that explains what you need to do
for your health (taking medications, rest periods, etc.). Talk
with your boss or personnel director. Tell them you want to continue
working, and what changes may be needed in your schedule or workload.
Make sure they understand if you want to keep your HIV status
confidential.
People with disabilities are protected from job discrimination
under the Americans with Disabilities Act (ADA). As long as you
can do the essential functions of your job, your employer can
not legally discriminate against you because of your HIV status.
When you apply for a new job, employers are not allowed to ask
about your health or any disabilities. They can only legally ask
if you have any condition that would interfere with essential
job functions.
Family Members: It can be difficult to decide
whether to tell your parents, children, or other relatives that
you are HIV-positive. Many people fear that their relatives will
be hurt or angry. Others feel that not telling relatives will
weaken their relationships and may keep them from getting the
emotional support and love that they want. It can be very stressful
to keep an important secret from people you are close to.
Family members may want to know how you were exposed to HIV.
Decide if or how you will answer questions about how you got infected.
Your relatives may appreciate knowing that you are getting
good health care, that you are taking care of yourself, and about
your support network.
Health Care Providers: It’s your decision whether
or not to tell a health care provider that you have HIV. If your
providers know you have HIV, they should be able to give you more
appropriate health care. All providers should protect themselves
from diseases carried in patients’ blood. If providers are likely
to come in contact with your blood, you can remind them to put
gloves on.
Social Contacts: Dating can be very threatening
for people with HIV. Fear of rejection keeps many people from
talking about their HIV status. Remember, every situation is different
and you don’t have to tell everybody. If you aren’t going to be
in a situation where HIV could be transmitted, there’s no need
to tell. Sooner or later in a relationship, it will be important
to talk about your HIV status. The longer you wait, the more difficult
it gets.
An HIV-Positive Child’s School: It is best to
have good communication about your child’s HIV status. Meet with
the principal and discuss the school’s policy and attitude on
HIV. Meet with the nurse and your child’s teacher. Be sure to
talk about your child’s legal right to confidentiality.
You can get help with telling others about your HIV status from
the counselors at the HIV anonymous test sites, or your HIV case
manager.
Reviewed December 29, 2001
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